The Fuckwits Guide To Four-Way Stops

The one thing that load shedding has taught us is that people don’t have fucking clue how to use a four-way stop!

So, to mitigate this level of stupidity – here is a The Fuckwits Guide On How To Use A Four-Way Stop.

When Is An Intersection A Four-Way Stop?

  • There are stop signs at each part of the intersection

How Do I Use A Four-Way Stop

The rule is ‘first in, first out’.

This means that if four cars approach the intersection, the one that gets to their line first, goes first. To ascertain this easily and without confusion, just look and see which car STOPS first!

That’s the easy way!

As you approach the intersection to stop, watch the other cars approaching and then see which one is the closest to their line and which one is further away.

This will give you the order in which the cars will move through the four-way stop.

If it helps, you can even assign each car (including yours) a number from 1-4, and then count until you get to your number.

When you get to your number, it’s your turn to go – unless you have fuckwits in other cars that haven’t read this guide and they could screw up this simple system by jumping the queue cos they either a) feel entitled to go whenever they want b) don’t know the rules c) just don’t care about other motorists.

Also, if there is an officer or someone else directing the traffic, the rules above fall away and you have to obey the directions given by the person directing traffic.

How To Avoid Being A Fuckwit At A Four-Way Stop

Follow these simple steps and you can avoid the ‘fuckwit-at-four-way-stops’ label for life!

  1. Never just go! This will certainly piss other motorists off big-time (as they know the rules) and you will be hooted at/sworn at/ and shown various finger signs indicating you’re acting like a fuckwit – wait your turn and don’t be an asshole.
  2. Don’t hesitate – Go when it’s your turn! Four-way stops can become Bermuda Triangles of confusion when people don’t go when they are supposed to!
  3. Don’t assume that everyone there has read this guide and therefore knows what to do!

How To Treat Fuckwits That Don’t Know How To Use A Four-Way Stop.

Now that you have read this guide, you are no longer a fuckwit when it comes to using a four-way stop properly and safely.

Now you have a responsibility to educate and help reform other fuckwits so we can end this scourge of dumbassness at our four-way stops.

You will find that there are still many drivers that have not read this excellent guide and should you encounter them , here are some actions you can take to make them aware of their fuckwittedness around four-way stops:

  1. Hoot loudly when they go when it isn’t their turn – a prolonged blast on your hooter says,”Hey, what the fuck are you doing? It isn’t your turn! You’re a fuckwit!” (hand waving an zap signs are warranted in this case)
  2. This action will make them realise that they have done something untoward at the four-way stop and will perhaps motivate them to seek the answer so as to avoid that in future.
  3. Take their number plate, post on social media and label them a ‘four-way stop fuckwit’ using the hashtag #4waystopfuckwit
  4. If you have the chance to converse with them through the window, direct them to this most excellent guide so they too can unfuckwit themselves when it comes to four-way stops.

Now that you are empowered on the use of four-way stops, you can share this with any people you know that could still be sufferind under the yolk of four-way stop fuckwittedness and by doing so, make the world a better place for four-way stops and your fellow motorist.

(no four-way stops or four-way stop fuckwits were harmed in the making of this post).

And that’s the Joburg Truth!